Whenever most of us speak we are speaking two languages without ever realizing it. Of course we are speaking English, but we also are speaking volumes more with our hand gestures. And yet, there are others who can not only use these two forms of communication but they also incorporate body language and facial expressions to offer the listener a full HD experience. To prove the importance and necessity of non-verbal communication I performed a little science experiment. It was a relatively simple experiment but it yielded fascinating results. I tried to hold down my mother's arms to her side for two minutes during a conversation with my brother about what she did the day before. She didn't last twenty seconds before she stopped and said she couldn't continue. She elaborated every miniscule detail with her hands and arms for added emphasis. According to my mother the importance of her gestures to her speech was almost like needing air to breathe, she could absolutely not do one without the other. While I would like to say that gender and other external stimuli are partly responsible for this behavior I also do believe that it is some part the individual's character that contributes to the utilization of non-verbal communication.
My mother has her funny way of expressing herself non-verbally and over time I found I share a similar trait when I talk. For example my brother sometimes to express himself his voice gets louder and squeakier as his emotions take a hold on him. We all have our own unique way of doing things, our daily routines, or sometimes they are more commonly referred to as our OCD tendencies. It may not be logical or even productive but they have to be done. In a way or non-verbal communication is a religious tendency that cannot be deviated from. The non-verbal communication is key to our relationship with others, it is done a certain way and our unique quirks make us who we are.
The gender gap is a optical illusion, sometimes it can be a hop, skip, and a jump away, and other times it feels like we are crossing the Grand Canyon on foot. These nonverbal cues between males and females are misinterpreted more often than we would like. But the funny thing is these miscommunications are two sides of a coin. Both parties are saying the same thing but it sounds different, it sometimes sounds like the exact contradiction, this is of course in the heat of the moment. After the dust settles everything becomes clear as day. But yet there are those other times when the miscommunications occur because we get complacent, and we assume. These assumptions are usually insignificant occurrences in everyday life but the wars that result from this are epic. Yett despite these epic battles we still need these skirmishes, they make us feel alive, and realize what we have could be gone in a moment. And that is what makes us realize the consequences of our actions, although sometimes we realize them too late.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
The Secret language of Subtlety
A shrug, a nod, a look, how many times have we seen these hints and sped past them like when we blow a stop sign? We know they are there but we just might have "overlooked" them or flat out ignored them. Couples around the world can attest to the secret language of subtlety. When their partner is in a bad mood the know it, like a disturbance in the force, or a sixth sense, they can feel it. But how do we not only identify these signs but understand what they mean for a particular person. Lord knows how many wars have been fought under the same roof over a "miscommunication." Something gets lost in translation and the entire message gets corrupted. We find ourselves time and time again looking at the aftermath asking, "What the hell went wrong?" The time we spend with our life-long companions, friends, coworkers, and most importantly family is crucial to decoding this language. I may feel great, enthusiastic about the day, or I might feel like crap. My external emotions might be telling a different story. I could be perceived as tired, happy, or angry. Our appearance is in the eye of the beholder, how they see us is how they will act towards us.
Our emotions sometimes seep through our facade and we "wear them on our sleeves" but most times, most of us are efficient at masking the pain. We wear our poker face and bluff our way through the day, who knows, we could have been in excruciating pain but nobody was ever the wiser about it. This apart of playing the "political game" being able to fool others around you into thinking one thing but your hidden agenda could be another thing entirely. I personally do not play this game. I despise it and I get tired of it. I waste enough of my time and energy trying to survive every week, why do I want to add more weight to carry?
Everyone is different with how they show their emotions, but one thing holds true for all of us, we show our emotion, the key is recognizing when it occurs. My aunt looks pissed, always. At a party, she sits with her arms crossed and he jaw set. At a family barbecue, she sits with her arms crossed and her jaw set. When she watches T.V., she sits with you guessed it her arms crossed and her jaw set. Now walk up to her and do or say something remotely, humorous and she will bust up laughing. Why? Because that is how she expresses herself. She wears that badass, tough cookie, take no crap, facade but she really is a funny and interesting person. We all have our secret languages, if you want to figure it out it doesn't take a P.H.D. just get to know the person and try to see things from their eyes. What are they thinking, how are they feeling, what is going on in their life? These questions race through my head when I see someone sitting there and I figure, "what the heck, I might as well go say hi what's the worst that can happen." It works for me, who knows socialization could be the secret decoder ring we need to solve this.
Our emotions sometimes seep through our facade and we "wear them on our sleeves" but most times, most of us are efficient at masking the pain. We wear our poker face and bluff our way through the day, who knows, we could have been in excruciating pain but nobody was ever the wiser about it. This apart of playing the "political game" being able to fool others around you into thinking one thing but your hidden agenda could be another thing entirely. I personally do not play this game. I despise it and I get tired of it. I waste enough of my time and energy trying to survive every week, why do I want to add more weight to carry?
Everyone is different with how they show their emotions, but one thing holds true for all of us, we show our emotion, the key is recognizing when it occurs. My aunt looks pissed, always. At a party, she sits with her arms crossed and he jaw set. At a family barbecue, she sits with her arms crossed and her jaw set. When she watches T.V., she sits with you guessed it her arms crossed and her jaw set. Now walk up to her and do or say something remotely, humorous and she will bust up laughing. Why? Because that is how she expresses herself. She wears that badass, tough cookie, take no crap, facade but she really is a funny and interesting person. We all have our secret languages, if you want to figure it out it doesn't take a P.H.D. just get to know the person and try to see things from their eyes. What are they thinking, how are they feeling, what is going on in their life? These questions race through my head when I see someone sitting there and I figure, "what the heck, I might as well go say hi what's the worst that can happen." It works for me, who knows socialization could be the secret decoder ring we need to solve this.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Another Brick in the Wall
Being multilingual is something short of being cursed. Because once it gets out that you are affluent in different tongues, it changes people. It changes the perception people have of you in either a negative or positive way. Why do people assume that because we may speak a number of languages that it makes us an automatic professional linguist? I used to work at Walgreens and once it got out that I spoke Spanish everyone who used to know how to speak "some" Spanish suddenly had a severe case of amnesia. It was amazing how many calls I got no matter what department I was in because I was the resident "translator." It made me feel good at times and other times it pissed me off because almost fifty percent of the time those hispanic customers only needed the restroom opened. I had my job to do on top of handling the customers that lazy workers passed on. So should English be the recognized language of the world? I believe that if it was there would be less confusion amongst different cultures but there goes the diversity of the world right out the window. How many stories do we have about a small miscommunication with some other culture we encountered? It makes for a good story to tell your friends or family. Well, kiss that goodbye.
The world would be economically strengthened because of the interactions we would have with one another but who is to say that English has to be the world standard? Who died and made our language so important? English is one of, if not the hardest languages to learn but it is possible to have it as the world standard. The world is a small place and this global connection would make a trip around the world equivalent to walking to your fridge to grab a microwavable meal. Something special would be lost. Why travel across the globe when you can have the same experience going anywhere else? Sure the sights aren't duplicable, but the people and the food are. It would just be another brick in the wall of life. We need this diversity it keeps the variety in our life, otherwise we would get complacent and just downright lazy. The people, the interactions, the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and experiences make this life worth living. Why give up this curse, this gift of being different from a cultural standpoint? Some would argue that just because there is a global unified language that doesn't mean that we cannot have different languages. Think about that for a second. If that were true then why do immigrants to the United States teach there children, who are born here, to only speak English? Because those immigrants were ostracized for being different and having to learn English as a second language so they try to make life "easier" for there children. And in doing so it slowly erradicates the cultural landmark of that race. Their unique language becomes a thing of the past, so wouldn't a parallel occur if English became the global language?
The world would be economically strengthened because of the interactions we would have with one another but who is to say that English has to be the world standard? Who died and made our language so important? English is one of, if not the hardest languages to learn but it is possible to have it as the world standard. The world is a small place and this global connection would make a trip around the world equivalent to walking to your fridge to grab a microwavable meal. Something special would be lost. Why travel across the globe when you can have the same experience going anywhere else? Sure the sights aren't duplicable, but the people and the food are. It would just be another brick in the wall of life. We need this diversity it keeps the variety in our life, otherwise we would get complacent and just downright lazy. The people, the interactions, the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and experiences make this life worth living. Why give up this curse, this gift of being different from a cultural standpoint? Some would argue that just because there is a global unified language that doesn't mean that we cannot have different languages. Think about that for a second. If that were true then why do immigrants to the United States teach there children, who are born here, to only speak English? Because those immigrants were ostracized for being different and having to learn English as a second language so they try to make life "easier" for there children. And in doing so it slowly erradicates the cultural landmark of that race. Their unique language becomes a thing of the past, so wouldn't a parallel occur if English became the global language?
Friday, March 4, 2011
The Domino Effect... or something like it...
The difficult thing about writing is organizing all the crap that is going a mile a minute in your brain. Where to begin? This question has haunted me all my life when it comes time to write. But once I solve this puzzle the pieces just fall into place. Each idea stems from the next, like a symphony of various instruments coming together to form the most poetic sounds. But every so often there is a sour note. And in some cases the sour notes just keep on coming. For me, my life in English class has always been one of anonymity and one failed attempt after another. I never really appreciated the power of the written word. It was always just an assignment, I never knew what I could accomplish. But I was always on the brink, if I just learned that one elusive skill that everyone else seems to know...
My English teachers in high school never really spent the time teaching me how to become a better writer. They always gave the same speech, that it was something that clicks, it will just come to you. So I figured I had a better chance finding the Holy Grail than I did getting a "B" in the class. Effort was not a question, at first. I tried and tried but always got the same result that I was so close my teacher told me. It was 11th grade and for the past two years I had the same teacher, Mr. McElroy, who taught me to loathe English with a passion. Almost everyday we had to to book work and grammar that was learned in grade school. Needless to say I did well in those classes but I did not learn anything in the advancement of my English writings. And in 11th grade I was being asked to write at a college level but was, "just missing it a certain uniqueness..."
The best I could achieve was an average score but then something happened that I did not intend. I started to emulate what I saw in movies, television, and other media outlets. I also copied what I read in magazines, books, anything that was inspirational to me. And it just clicked. I do not know how or exactly when, but it did, yet it was a only a flicker of a flame, nothing more. Things just started to fall into place, when I wrote I used such elevated diction that I was confused. Who was writing this? It felt like I was possessed by someone else and I was just witnessing what was happening. If I had to guess at what happened, I can attribute what occurred to a bolster in confidence. My voice came out when I was confident.
My voice, your voice, her voice, his voice, everyone's is different and everyone has one waiting to be tapped into. But once you find it, once you learn what you can accomplish, everything just falls into place, like a row of dominoes. And from then on it just becomes a matter of what the heck am I going to write about? And then the piste resistance, where to begin?
My English teachers in high school never really spent the time teaching me how to become a better writer. They always gave the same speech, that it was something that clicks, it will just come to you. So I figured I had a better chance finding the Holy Grail than I did getting a "B" in the class. Effort was not a question, at first. I tried and tried but always got the same result that I was so close my teacher told me. It was 11th grade and for the past two years I had the same teacher, Mr. McElroy, who taught me to loathe English with a passion. Almost everyday we had to to book work and grammar that was learned in grade school. Needless to say I did well in those classes but I did not learn anything in the advancement of my English writings. And in 11th grade I was being asked to write at a college level but was, "just missing it a certain uniqueness..."
The best I could achieve was an average score but then something happened that I did not intend. I started to emulate what I saw in movies, television, and other media outlets. I also copied what I read in magazines, books, anything that was inspirational to me. And it just clicked. I do not know how or exactly when, but it did, yet it was a only a flicker of a flame, nothing more. Things just started to fall into place, when I wrote I used such elevated diction that I was confused. Who was writing this? It felt like I was possessed by someone else and I was just witnessing what was happening. If I had to guess at what happened, I can attribute what occurred to a bolster in confidence. My voice came out when I was confident.
My voice, your voice, her voice, his voice, everyone's is different and everyone has one waiting to be tapped into. But once you find it, once you learn what you can accomplish, everything just falls into place, like a row of dominoes. And from then on it just becomes a matter of what the heck am I going to write about? And then the piste resistance, where to begin?
Friday, February 25, 2011
Why so serious...
When did our nation become one full of hypocrisy and close minded thinking? The status quo in our day has evolved why haven't we all adapted to it yet? I am so tired of hearing people tell me that things are inappropriate for television or the worn out phrase "Oh my God did they really just say that?" Yea. They did. Get the (expletive) over it. It is time to be free to express ourselves in any manner in which we deem fit because is that not what we are taught to believe? That there is only one of you in this world. I am unique. There will never be another me. Cloning? Really even if there was a clone of ourselves, would they be just like us in every way possible? I doubt it, what makes me, me is the experiences I have had, and the interactions I was apart of, and last I checked duplicating this was impossible. There is no De Lorien we can hop into to re-live the past. Move on people. Times have changed let us change with these times to be as current as we possibly can.
In another students post she mentions the drag queens of society and the shocking nature of the lives these individuals lead. What is so shocking? Everyone has their way of doing things, we all have our guilty pleasures. So why can't these individuals live their lives free of persecution or even being ostracized? I have had the privilege of working retail for three years at the most exciting yet tedious job in the world, Walgreens. In one phrase I can sum up my time there: you cannot, I repeat cannot, script real life. Reality television can kiss my @$$ it has absolutely nothing on the experience that one can gain while working there. That place literally has it all. From the elderly shopping for incontinence or some medication to help with that unsightly irritation which they have to indulge you with the privilege of showing you photos of, to the teenage boy looking to buy condoms, lubricants, massage oils, and some pregnancy tests discretely without the world knowing. Yes it is truly a one of a kind experience. Screw Jersey Shore come work at Walgreens then you will never want to see another crappy show like that again.
So back to the status quo of society what the hell does all this have to do with change for the better? Well for starters why do people judge others on the nature of things they don't understand? I have never been a drag queen that sort of thing doesn't call to my attention, but just because it is not my cup of tea does not give me the right to judge those who like to do that. It does not give me the authority to label them a freak or call them names like I have heard customers at Walgreens do because we had an individual who came into our store who happened to be in drag and was criticized for doing so. I helped them just like any other customer and made them feel as if they were just like anyone else. Why should they get preferential treatment or shitty customer service because of the way they conduct themselves?
We have come a long way in our advancement of technology, in our way of movements for change for certain groups of people but what about true equality for any individual? No matter their sexual orientation, their gender or gender role in society we should accept everyone for their behavioral traits and personality not because they made a life choice contrary to ours. When are we going to have that movement, the tolerance movement for any individual?
In another students post she mentions the drag queens of society and the shocking nature of the lives these individuals lead. What is so shocking? Everyone has their way of doing things, we all have our guilty pleasures. So why can't these individuals live their lives free of persecution or even being ostracized? I have had the privilege of working retail for three years at the most exciting yet tedious job in the world, Walgreens. In one phrase I can sum up my time there: you cannot, I repeat cannot, script real life. Reality television can kiss my @$$ it has absolutely nothing on the experience that one can gain while working there. That place literally has it all. From the elderly shopping for incontinence or some medication to help with that unsightly irritation which they have to indulge you with the privilege of showing you photos of, to the teenage boy looking to buy condoms, lubricants, massage oils, and some pregnancy tests discretely without the world knowing. Yes it is truly a one of a kind experience. Screw Jersey Shore come work at Walgreens then you will never want to see another crappy show like that again.
So back to the status quo of society what the hell does all this have to do with change for the better? Well for starters why do people judge others on the nature of things they don't understand? I have never been a drag queen that sort of thing doesn't call to my attention, but just because it is not my cup of tea does not give me the right to judge those who like to do that. It does not give me the authority to label them a freak or call them names like I have heard customers at Walgreens do because we had an individual who came into our store who happened to be in drag and was criticized for doing so. I helped them just like any other customer and made them feel as if they were just like anyone else. Why should they get preferential treatment or shitty customer service because of the way they conduct themselves?
We have come a long way in our advancement of technology, in our way of movements for change for certain groups of people but what about true equality for any individual? No matter their sexual orientation, their gender or gender role in society we should accept everyone for their behavioral traits and personality not because they made a life choice contrary to ours. When are we going to have that movement, the tolerance movement for any individual?
Sunday, February 13, 2011
English 103 Expectations
Well ironically enough I am starting my first blog in the last place and at the last time I would have wanted because my powers of observation and skills of deduction seem to be faltering. It is 22:19 on the night before it is due and I really tried to get this done on Friday and Saturday night but of course the instructions on how to do this whole procedure is in the one spot we youthful individuals fail to look every time. Right under our very noses. I like many of my fellow classmates overlooked the little .rtf on the instructions page and was writing on the discussion board that I could not load the link above thinking well has there been some mistake? Or maybe the system was down? It's only Friday and I have until Sunday... And so another semester with procrastination hand in hand with me. But not this time. I was determined to look for this blogging shindig and I found it well enough.
So here goes what did I learn from this mini analytical experience: One: READ all the directions carefully no skipping... Two: If my instructor provides us her personal email and it's based with gmail then chances are the blog site will be on google not twitter. And Three: Next time don't be so quick to assume that the technology has an issue when it was my lazyness that caused this potential screw up to the start of what promises to be a good year.
What does critical thinking mean to me? In my youth it meant pondering about everything, being inquisitive about absolutely everything and not taking "it just does that because it is suppossed to " for an answer. Now the term means thinking about the situaion at hand finding out what I need to know to solve it then coming up with alternatives and other means of resolution. It means being able to look at a situation impartially and consider all the angles. It means trying to figure things out for myself and not take someone else's words for it. Although wisdom is valuable I learn the lesson more intensely if I figure it out for myself, but I do listen to conventional wisdom before I decide something. The result gets burned into my mind for future reference and the scars of what is left behind remind me of what it is I learned. My curiosity is squelched and I have no regrets. Living with no regrets it is such a simple concept yet requires the most sacrifice from ourselves. The what-if always lingers but our decision will remain the same irregardless of whatever regrets we have. I have no regrets taking this English class because I have learned more in a week here than I have in all of my other English classes (excluding basic grammar, writing, and reading).
I think critically in most of the aspects of my life. I only say most and not all because when I think critically in my love live I find that my lover and I tend to fight more often than not and since we are so similar in beliefs and in resolve, neither one of us want to back down. But in school I think critically, when I watch a movie I think critically, when I go to work I think critically, when I play baseball I think critically. Sadly thinking critically in most of my daily activities has its pitfalls. In baseball there is a time to think and a time to react, mix the two up and you are out. No redos, no restarts, no mulligans.
I expect to learn from this class when it is appropriate to think critically and when it time to stop thinking and react. I used to sit and wish for things to happen, to sit and think what-if I could do something. That time is done I am going to experience life and stop waiting and make something happen; this class seems to be helping me get over the fear of what I am missing out on. Looking around at my classmates and how everyone is doing their thing makes me realize I want to go do my own thing, take a chance and don't look back. I want to carve my path out in this world then look back and see what I have accomplished and realize I did it. I have made it to the top. I can retire at the "millionaire estates" and cash in my LIFE bucks...
So here goes what did I learn from this mini analytical experience: One: READ all the directions carefully no skipping... Two: If my instructor provides us her personal email and it's based with gmail then chances are the blog site will be on google not twitter. And Three: Next time don't be so quick to assume that the technology has an issue when it was my lazyness that caused this potential screw up to the start of what promises to be a good year.
What does critical thinking mean to me? In my youth it meant pondering about everything, being inquisitive about absolutely everything and not taking "it just does that because it is suppossed to " for an answer. Now the term means thinking about the situaion at hand finding out what I need to know to solve it then coming up with alternatives and other means of resolution. It means being able to look at a situation impartially and consider all the angles. It means trying to figure things out for myself and not take someone else's words for it. Although wisdom is valuable I learn the lesson more intensely if I figure it out for myself, but I do listen to conventional wisdom before I decide something. The result gets burned into my mind for future reference and the scars of what is left behind remind me of what it is I learned. My curiosity is squelched and I have no regrets. Living with no regrets it is such a simple concept yet requires the most sacrifice from ourselves. The what-if always lingers but our decision will remain the same irregardless of whatever regrets we have. I have no regrets taking this English class because I have learned more in a week here than I have in all of my other English classes (excluding basic grammar, writing, and reading).
I think critically in most of the aspects of my life. I only say most and not all because when I think critically in my love live I find that my lover and I tend to fight more often than not and since we are so similar in beliefs and in resolve, neither one of us want to back down. But in school I think critically, when I watch a movie I think critically, when I go to work I think critically, when I play baseball I think critically. Sadly thinking critically in most of my daily activities has its pitfalls. In baseball there is a time to think and a time to react, mix the two up and you are out. No redos, no restarts, no mulligans.
I expect to learn from this class when it is appropriate to think critically and when it time to stop thinking and react. I used to sit and wish for things to happen, to sit and think what-if I could do something. That time is done I am going to experience life and stop waiting and make something happen; this class seems to be helping me get over the fear of what I am missing out on. Looking around at my classmates and how everyone is doing their thing makes me realize I want to go do my own thing, take a chance and don't look back. I want to carve my path out in this world then look back and see what I have accomplished and realize I did it. I have made it to the top. I can retire at the "millionaire estates" and cash in my LIFE bucks...
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