Who I once was has been replaced, and I just hope it is for the better. I want to be a better person, I do not only want to become a better writer but I also want to become a more effective communicator. The ability to communicate has been one of my major focal points this semester and I feel like I have improved on it. But this semester is quickly coming to a close and although this experience has been a major period of growth for me in both my writing and my understanding of things beyond my consciousness, I feel like there is something missing, and I just cannot put my finger on it.
This semester started out as one of the worst of times for me; I was trying to hold two jobs and somehow manage to go to school full time but in the end it proved to be too exhausting, and so I dropped one job and persisted in school. But that wasn't enough my hours at my only job jumped from forty hours a week to almost fifty plus hours a week. Now, I am in no way complaining about the paycheck, but it does no good to make that much money and be miserable trying to make ends meet. But things eventually balanced out and I got my routine somewhat down, so that way I could survive this semester and things started looking up for me.
But I fear the hole is too big for me to crawl out of, I fell quickly behind with the amount of work I was doing and the amount of schoolwork that was being piled on. And now at the end of it all when I feel like I have a hold on it, it is too late it is almost over. The readings we have done this semester have been some of the most interesting and quite frankly hilarious. The EL book was a lot to digest but I feel good knowing I didn't cut any corners and the knowledge I gained from learning how to communicate with the opposite sex was in it of itself, all worth the painstaking time I spent working on those tedious questions. (As a side note I do not know if anyone tried typing those questions into blackboard directly but if you did: did your questions get deleted like mine did... twice? I spent six hours typing two weeks of those questions and both week's worth of questions were deleted because it said I wasn't logged in... Needless to say I learned about the magic of cut and paste...) Now as for the books we read, I thoroughly enjoyed Reading Lolita in Tehran it invoked emotions in me that made me wish I could transcend the pages and personally right every wrong those women had to face. I also enjoyed Lolita which was magnificently written but the story was a little... intense, to say the least. On Bullshit was difficult for me to read, I do not know if anyone else found it difficult to follow, but I felt like I needed a P.H.D. to understand half of Frankfurt's points. Now Animal Farm is a classic and like always it was enjoyable yet no matter how many times I read it, it still makes me wish I had the time and energy to read Orwell's 1984 so I can compare the two. And the essays we wrote were difficult but I tried my best at them. I have no regrets, other than I wish I had more time to revise them to potentially get a better score.
And after all is said and done I am glad to have gotten to know some of you in this class. You guys were great peers and I felt a sort of strong connection to you guys although I have never seen some of your faces or met some of you, it feels as though we have. Is it weird? Yeah, it kind of is, but not in that crazy, stalker, kind of way. It was just a unique and fun experience, I will miss this class. Anyway, I wish you all the best in your future endeavors and good luck.
